The Museum of Fat Love | On Exhibit | Zoe and Arun

Zoe and Arun

On December 29th of last year, two of my besties and I took a trip to Toronto to spend the New Year's holiday with some friends we had up there.&bsp; While both of my friends had booty-call hookups planned, I did not.&bsp; This didn't upset me, however, as I was feeling a bit jaded about dating anyway and so I was happy to just be the one who got to sit and listen to her friends' hot action stories after the fact.&bsp; The second night we were there, we met our Toronto friends for dinner at the restaurant where one of our friends was the head chef and we were introduced to their friend Arun.&bsp; I certainly noticed that he was foxy but, because I was in a weird place in terms of dating and sexuality at that point, I didn't think to pursue him.

One of my friends, in her usual role of "Queer Oprah," began asking Arun about himself, including asking him questions of what kinds of people he was into.&bsp; Because I had become convinced he was gay, I was surprised to hear that, though he liked all sorts of folks, he predominantly liked femmes, and bigger femmes at that.&bsp; Again, I wasn't looking, but I definitely took note of this fact.&bsp; Later that night we were at a party and I noticed he went to talk to two of our friends (one from Toronto and one from Brooklyn) that were slated to hook up while we were there.&bsp; Because their flirtation was slow to get started, due to their mutual shyness, I called Arun over so as to give our friends some space.&bsp; We sat at the party having fun drinking and chatting for hours and then somehow it came out that he had actually looked at my Facebook profile in advance of our meeting and thought I was hot.&bsp; When our mutual friend disclosed this, Arun looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die; I found this highly endearing.&bsp; So later that night when we were getting ready to leave the party, on a whim I gathered my courage and said to him, "Arun, I don't have plans for a New Year's Eve kiss and so if you're free from say 11:59 on, let me know."&bsp; He blushed and said that he was free and would be happy to be my NYE kiss date.&bsp; Just past the stroke of midnight that kiss ended up happening (boy did it ever) and 2 months later, that smart, sexy, sweet, funny man became my boyfriend.&bsp;

While a Toronto--New York City relationship is not easy to manage, we make it work.&bsp; And it's true that we have to navigate some challenges as a mixed-size couple, mostly in terms of other people's reactions to us, but I don't see this as any different than the work we do around being a mixed race, class, ability and gender-identity couple.&bsp; In all forms of difference, we work hard to listen, understand, educate ourselves and support one another around the marginalization that one of us faces and the other does not.&bsp; In the particular case of fat-phobia and fat-discrimination, Arun is one of the strongest allies I have ever met.&bsp; I can say without hesitation that for this, and for so, so many other reasons, he is one of the finest people I have ever met and is the love of my life.




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